African- American Relationships

 

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SEXUAL INTIMACY AND PORN

 

Some people would argue that porn and sexual intimacy have no business being mentioned in the same sentence together. I, however, am not one of those people. And I am not alone. Sex experts will often tell couples to watch porn together in order to reignite the passion when their sex lives are getting dull. Find something that you are both into and find porn that fits that "something." Obviously this means communicating. Talk about what turns you on and any fantasies either of you might have. And remember, this is a no-judgment zone conversation. Even if your partner says something that isn't your cup of tea, don't tell them it's wrong. Just tell them it isn't something you would want to try (although, it usually doesn't hurt to try things once before deciding how you feel about it – notice I said usually). Once you have both found some sexual proclivities that you share then you can find porn that matches those proclivities. From large women, to interacial sex, to porn with involved storylines and plots, to all kinds of fetishes from feet to bondage…. There is porn out there that caters to all those niches and many, many, many, many more.

 

It also could be a good idea to check out a site that reviews porn sites. This way you can get a sense of all the different categories available to you and find the best sites with the best content in whatever niche you desire. Read reviews, see what differentiates various sites in the same niche from one another and pick one or two to try out. If you don't want to watch other people have sex while you have sex, you can break out the video camera and record yourselves doing it. If you want to really get into it you can even write a little script and put on costumes, but just setting the camera on a tripod and fucking in front of it is a lot of fun also. This will definitely add some excitement to the encounter and will give you some home made porn to watch the next time you are feeling frisky (it might be a little the first time you see yourself on camera having sex, but trust me when I tell you it can be a very big turn on).

 

People will tell you that watching porn while you have sex makes the whole experience less intimate (those are the same people from the first paragraph), but that is just because they have a very specific way that they view and define sexual intimacy. Intimacy has to do with closeness between two – sometimes more – people. For some people that closeness can only be felt with one special person and the lights turned off. For others it can be felt just as strongly with a couple people and a room full of sex toys. Don’t let others tell you what sexual intimacy is or should be. Define it for yourself. And adding porn to the mix doesn't in any way negate any kind of closeness as long as all the participants feel the same way about it. In fact, if it helps to revive a lacking sexual life than it can be argued that it actually makes things more intimate and brings people closer together.

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